Author Archives: Crystal - Page 2

Helping a Friend

My very dear friend, Amanda, has multiple sclerosis. Very soon, she’ll be undergoing a stem cell treatment in efforts to become MS-free. As this is costly, and because she is so important to me, I want to help her raise money so that her 3-year-old son can have an MS-free mommy.

For the next month, all proceeds of my pattern sales will go directly to her donation fund. Buy a pattern, donate to a wonderful cause.

You can read more about her story, or donate to her directly, here.

Thank you so much!

Again

I’m posting a picture again, taken in September 2010. It’s that pretty.

(In other news, we’ve had mounds of fun out in the snowy backyard. Snowshoes are our next must-have. Stay tuned.)

Photo by Crystal S. McDonald, 2010.

 

Unexpected

Maybe it’s because I’ve been able to be more expressive in my art (written, fiber, visual).

Maybe it’s the increased laughter in our home.

Maybe it’s the cathartic crying after challenging parenting temper tantrums.

Maybe it’s hearing that I make my gorgeous, brilliant, witty husband excited to come home.

Maybe it’s seeing effects, in my body & wardrobe, of my healthier lifestyle choices.

Maybe it’s all the old-school grunge I’ve been listening to, aiding in bringing nostalgic smiles.

Maybe it’s the anticipation my children and I have for the long weekend we’ll have with John for this Christmas weekend.

Maybe it’s knowing we’ll be gaining daylight soon.

Maybe it’s a million little things all combined.

It’s all led to this moment when I declare that, unexpectedly, today I am unabashedly happy.

Happy Hanukkah.

What’s your major?

I’m going back to school. It’s been 50,000 years since I took a class. I’m not sure what mommy-brain has done to my ability to write essays and take exams. I’m a little scared.

Since I’m a full-time stay-at-home mommy of three young attention-grabbers, I’m going to start out light. I’ll probably only take one distance course in the spring semester. UAF is processing my admission deferment now, and I have an appointment with an academic advisor in a little over two weeks.

I majored in petroleum engineering once upon a time, 15 years ago, for about five minutes. At UAA, I was an English major, minoring in philosophy, and considering psychology as a secondary major. Then all manner of things happened, and my school days were over. The visions I had for myself then are vastly different than they are today. I have to take this into account when I look at the disciplinary concentrations offered by UAF, as I wonder what on earth I want to declare as my major.

I’m still completely drawn in by the idea of a dual degree in English and psychology. I’d love to have that as my foundation for the writing career of which I fantasize so often. The advent of ebooks combined with the decline in print media makes me question whether writing could ever be a profitable venture for me. So I ask myself, what else do I like to do?

I’ve looked at computer science/web design. I love anthropology, and as a child daydreamed of being an archaeologist on digs in exotic places, but that hardly seems like me now. I wanted to be a math major once, but even then didn’t know what I’d do with a math degree besides teach, which is something I have no interest in doing. Don’t get me wrong; I love teachers. I value the teachers I had so immensely, and consider many of them my friends today. I just know that teaching is not something I could do well, nor would I enjoy it.

How did you decide what to study?

Sleep fighting

I don’t know much about dream interpretation. For a couple of weeks now, though, I’ve been having some majorly intense dreams and have found myself longing to know more. Many of them would qualify as nightmares; most, in fact. In these dreams, I’m fighting for my life. The person(s) I’m fighting against always change, as do the environments I’m fighting in, but I have a basic theme: I’m hunted, imprisoned, threatened, doomed. Sometimes I try to covertly escape, other times blatantly rising up against my aggressor. I haven’t been successful yet, I’ve died on a few occasions, and woken up more than once with bruises. Other dreams I’ve been having for the last few months are very pointed in their origin, leaving nothing to question, sometimes leaving me shaking for days. A small handful of dreams are very simple, if not a little chaotic. I’m hoping that if I put this out there, just thinking it through will help it resolve itself.  Have you had sleep fights that seem to stay with you?

In Fours

Four Jobs I Have Had:
* Service advisor, heavy duty automotive shop
* Waitress, Village Inn & Denny’s
* Front office admin, psychiatric clinic
* Property coordinator, university

Four Places I Have Lived:
* Anchorage
* Fairbanks
* Delta Junction
* Amchitka Island

Four Movies I Could Watch Again and Again:
* Die Hard
* The Sum of All Fears
* How to Train Your Dragon
* Gone in 60 Seconds

Four Television Shows I Love:
* Alphas
* Firefly
* Boardwalk Empire
* Bones

Four Authors I Enjoy:
* Kathy Reichs
* Margaret Atwood
* Christopher Moore
* Kurt Vonnegut

Four Places I Have Travelled To:
* San Diego, CA
* Austin, TX
* Washington, DC
* Port Aransas, TX

Four Website I Visit Daily:
* http://www.msnbc.com
* http://www.twitter.com
* http://www.ravelry.com
* http://www.facebook.com

Four of My Favorite Foods:
* Spinach dal
* Enchiladas
* Sesame chicken
* Pasta fagioli

Four Places I’d Rather Be:
* At the beach
* Getting a massage
* Visiting old friends
* In a bubble bath

Wee Bit Wednesday

{1} if you were given a brand new yacht, what would you name it?

Argentina.

{2} have you broken any bones? 
Yes.  Left clavicle.  Crushed T12 & L1 vertebrae.

{3} who would win in a fight: pirates or ninjas?
Pirates.  Especially Johnny Depp.

{4} what are you most excited about right now?

It’s fall!  I love fall.  I love the colors, the falling leaves, the crisp air, the way the sky gets the teensiest bit bluer, I love it all.

{5} what was your favorite tv show as a child?

There was this how-to-draw show I used to watch, and I liked Gummy Bears.  I loved loved loved Bob Ross, and still do.

{6} what message would you want to put in a fortune cookie?
Knowledge is acquired, but wisdom is innate.

{7} if you could be invited to one person’s birthday party, whose would you choose?
Mama’s, because it would mean she’d still be here.

{8} do you believe in luck?
I don’t know.  I think I do.

{9} how many siblings do you have?
This is somewhat complicated.  By birth, I am the oldest of 4, having two younger brothers and a now-deceased younger sister.  I was adopted at birth, into a family that gave me an older brother and an older sister.  This older adoptive sister gave birth to twins when I was six, and my adoptive mother raised them as her own.  This all means that I have 3 brothers and 4 sisters, one deceased.  I’m looking for my biological father, and am pretty sure that the candidate(s) I have in mind have children, so I probably have more half-siblings out there somewhere.

{10} have you had your heart broken?
Oui.

Wee Bit of Me

{one} what’s your guilty pleasure tv show?
I have a few shows I love to watch, like Bones, House, Alphas, and Boardwalk Empire.  I feel silly for how much I love What Not to Wear and Iron Chef America.  My guiltiest pleasure tv show has to be Ancient Aliens though.
{two} ear piercings on men: yes or no?
Um, no, thanks.
 
{three} do you have dish or comcast?
GCI digital cable with HD and HBO.
 
{four} what’s your favorite current fashion trend?
I’ve just discovered that I love a tasteful ruffle, if such a thing exists.
 
{five} if you could learn to do anything, money not being an issue, what would it be?
I want to learn to play the cello, paint with oils, and successfully work from home.
 
{six} red or white wine?
Neither.  I’m an alcoholic in recovery.  Back when I drank, I preferred red though.
 
{seven} what type of food is your favorite (ex. italian, mexican, etc.)
This is a toss-up between Mexican and Italian.
 
{eight} hp or mac?
I’m a PC.  Not a fan of Macs.
 
{nine} what color is your bedroom?
Light blue, and not a nice shade of it.  It’s boring, I hate it, and want to redo it, but haven’t decided on a color yet.
 
{ten} what’s your favorite form of exercise?
Pilates, though I haven’t been doing it lately thanks to back pain.  When I had a gym membership, I loved the stairstepper or elliptical.

Randomly on a Tuesday

I like Random Tuesdays.  Because they’re random.  Like me.

I’ve been in contact with one man I suspected of being my biological father.  His name isn’t quite the right match, but his age is, as well as his location at the time of my conception.

I’ve found a few other potential bio-dads.  One was a definite ‘no’, one was deceased, and one looks like me.  The one that looks like me lives in Lugoff, South Carolina.  He hasn’t responded to me yet.  Good thing I’m persistent.

My cousin Stephan committed suicide last week at age 26.  He left behind three young sons, and a lot of loving family and friends.  We drove to Anchorage last Friday for his memorial service, but didn’t quite make it.  We stopped for brunch at Rose’s Cafe in Healy, where Mia fell on her front teeth.  She bled a bit, chipping one top front tooth and loosening the other.  We debated whether we should continue to Anchorage or turn back to Fairbanks, and decided to keep on.  We hit up Alaska Native Medical Center as soon as we got to town, and good thing.  Poor Mia had fractured both top front teeth down to the nerve, and they had to be pulled.  She’s fine now, though she pronounces a few things differently, and won’t have any lasting damage to her adult teeth or rampant love of running.

We stopped at Stephan’s wake, where the place was teeming with my extended family and lots of good food.  I saw family members I haven’t seen in years, and learned that a couple of them live up my way.  We were all exhausted from the trip down so we didn’t stay long, but I was there just long enough to give my love and sympathy to Stephan’s mother, Aucha.  My most beautiful, smartest cousin, just like me.  May G-d bless you and keep you.

The kids got to hang out with a few of their cousins, Faith, Caleb, and Victoria, as well as Aunt Jessie and Grandpa.  Mia was completely captivated by all the mountains around Anchorage, poor little mountain-deprived Interior girl that she is.  We were going to take them to Beluga Point before we left town Saturday, but opted instead to take them to Valley of the Moon Park.

That’s where I got to finally catch up with an old friend, Amanda, and finally met her beau Todd and adorable son Mason.  River had fun on the swings, JR climbed on everything in sight (and has declared it his favorite park), and Mia was so taken by Amanda and Mason that she kept talking about them on the way home.  There are many, many more friends I want to see; I’ll be back in Anchorage before too long!

It was fantastic to come home after such a short trip.  My home stays messier than I want it to be, but it’s mine.  Mine, mine, mine!  The animals gave us a great greeting, as has the laundry pile.

John has a new-to-him motorcycle this summer — a 1991 Harley Davidson Sportster.  He got it late in the season, got it fixed up, and takes it out whenever he gets a chance.  I keep pushing for him to get chaps, but possibly not for the reason he wants them.  I picked up a helmet this weekend, so I’m ready just in case I get a chance to ride with him.  Hopefully he can take a long ride this coming weekend since there probably aren’t a lot of riding days left.

I’m still knitting — I have a lot of finished projects that I haven’t pictured because the kids got hold of my camera, leaving me unable to point-and-shoot at my leisure.  That’s also why there are decidedly fewer photos here on the blog.  I have a lot of knitting projects lined up, including a shawl for Amanda (because she admired the ruffly one I was wearing at the park), hats/scarves/mittens for the kids, hats for the nursery at Fairbanks Memorial, items for the upcoming homeless youth shelter, and items for various auctions like the Toys for Tots one held in Anchorage.

I’ve been reliving some drama from 15 years ago in my dreams several nights in a row.  Rather, I should call them nightmares, more appropriately.  I’m pretty much ready for that to stop.  Though last night I dreamed I was the star in a recital, and had all manner of dance training to undergo before the big show.  It was strange.

I’ve been reading about Kabbalah, Jewish mysticism, tarot, and the Torah.  When I’m not reading about spirituality, I’ve been lost in Kathy Reichs books with Margaret Atwood bringing up the rear.

My cholesterol has come down over 50 points, possibly 70, since the beginning of the year, and I’m thrilled about that.  I wasn’t sure if my approach was working.  It’s still not great, but I’m getting there.

Fibromyalgia pain comes and goes.  I feel like I’m finally on the tail end of a flare.  If I hadn’t had two root canals that need to be retouched, I’d probably feel pretty good.

I’m going to scrounge up some dinner now, then hopefully finish a sock I’ve been working on for what feels like forever.

Protected: Letter to my biological father

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