Purging

So I kind of fucked off after the whole days of gratitude thing last month. Life happened, gratefulness was present, Thanksgiving dinner came and went, pumpkin pie was had. We were in a deep freeze for a while, hitting -40F for a little while, and we had an occurrence with our sewer line. It froze; we got a company to come out & thaw the lines. Then snow dumped down on us, leaving over a foot of snow in just about a day. School was canceled Thursday, a snow day. It looked so beautiful outside.

Yesterday, my shoulder blades caught on fire, my back spasmed, my legs went all pins-and-needles. It continued through today. Lots of pain, but pretty typical of how my days go lately.

I contacted some old friends. Some are having a bad time. Some are great. I miss them all, and keep thinking about our times together.

Then this asshole shot up a school today. Murdered 20 children. Children. I have no words for what I feel about that.

We tried to have a coworker/spouse Christmas dinner party tonight. Me, John, three of his coworkers and their wives, we went to The Finish Line, a bar/restaurant inside of Alpine Lodge near the airport in Fairbanks. Quaint little place. One of the wives got a shard of glass in her eye. ER doctor couldn’t find it tonight. Another doctor will be seeing her tomorrow. Hopefully she’ll be seeing too. Ridiculously unsafe situation at The Finish Line. I may have sent information to OSHA and the local food establishment health safety guys. I want my new friend to keep her eye, minus the glass.

We ate with one of the couples at Gallo’s instead. Enjoyably diverting company, pleasant meal, kids behaved well for our sitter/adopted stepdaughter. I don’t venture out often — too much pain, illness, etc. — but was out a good long while tonight. Aside from the massive ocular injury, it was a fairly nice evening.

I’m home now, and I can’t stop looking at coverage from today’s massacre. Between that and flashing back to fond memories of old friends, it’s all mashing up inside my brain, and I’ve got this mixed up, visceral, nauseated ache inside me. For once, I don’t know what to do besides vomit words onto a blank page. I’m purging right now since I’m pretty sure I’ve had every emotion today. My amygdala feels like an overclocked processor.

So, yeah.

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