Sorry, Mama

but I hate my sister. And her girls. And sometimes dad. They’re making it so hard to carry out your wishes with your estate. And they treat me like I was never really part of the family. I want nothing to do with them. They will never know the child growing inside me, and will never again have anything to do with JR. I am ashamed to be related to them.

I miss you so much. All I want in any given day is to be able to talk to you, hug you one more time, laugh with you. I don’t know how to do things without you. I never wanted to. I still don’t want to, but I get by every day somehow.

I had a horrible dream about you last night, and woke up terrified that I had caused you harm. I hope I made you happy. I hope I made you proud of me.

I miss you so much, mama, and I love you. Always.

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